Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
