bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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