i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
