I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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