is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
