Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
