This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
