Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
