i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
