if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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