just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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