Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
