Heybabeimwearingurpanties
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
