Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
