dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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