I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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