She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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