oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
