I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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