wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
