she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
