yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
