i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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