she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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