Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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