If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
