he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
