You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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