What a fucking waste of an outfit
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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