I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
