I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
its not stalking. its research.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Welp...herpes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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