just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize