Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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