so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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