there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
