dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
did i walk over a car last night?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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