he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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