you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize