Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
