that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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