scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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