i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
