dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
