I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
