I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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