There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
