You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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