Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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