The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He felt like a one man threesome
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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