He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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