all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
