Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Enjoy the penises
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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