just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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