she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
