I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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