My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think my vagina is haunted
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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