You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
