no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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