He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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