i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
