I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
