There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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