do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
